Early Bird
by GlasvonHerzen
Summary: Bro usually sleeps late, considering he's always out late at night DJ'ing at various clubs. But one morning, he wakes up early, much to Dave's surprise. Shenanigans ensue. But is what happens just another one of Bro's mind tricks? Or is it more than that? T for language. Stridercest one-shot. First official Homestuck story, please be nice ; ;


**Early Bird**

**Disclaimer:** Last time I checked, my name was not Andrew Hussie. Therefore none of these wonderful characters belong to me. (If they did, then there wouldn't be any pairing wars, now would there?) Anyway, yeah, this isn't mine and stuff!

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==ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 8:04==

**EB:** dave!

**EB: **dave dave dave dave dave!

**EB:** dave i know you're awake!

**TG:** what the hell do you want at eight in the fucking morning egbert

**EB:** remember that one game you had for xbox live that you wanted me to get?

**TG:** sort of

**EB:** my dad got it for me for my birthday!

**TG:** sweet

**EB:** do you want to play it now?

**TG:** sure thing dude

**TG:** let me swing into the living room and grab the xbox

**TG:** bro shouldnt be up yet anyway so no problem

**TG:** see you in a sec

==turntechGodhead [TG] is now an idle chum!==

Dave made his way sluggishly towards the living room he shared with his older brother in their small apartment. It was eight in the morning, and he had just barely woken up; he still wasn't exactly fully awake. So it took him a moment to realize that there were noises coming from the living room TV. He inwardly frowned, though none of his confusion showed on his face. Bro was usually asleep until ten at the very earliest. So who the hell could be in there now?

He peered around the corner, and sure enough, Bro was sitting on the couch, a controller in one hand and a bag of chips in the other. He was playing some ironically shitty game as usual, but of course, he had to choose _right now_ to be ironic. Right when Dave needed the damn Xbox to play an even shittier game with his friend. Damn Bro.

"Mornin', Dave."

Dave mentally kicked himself. Of course he wouldn't have been able to hide from Bro; what was he thinking? So he strolled casually into the living room, trying to act like he hadn't just been caught essentially spying. "You're up early," he remarked, seating himself on the couch next to his brother. The older Strider didn't so much as look at the younger. "Yeah, well, things to do, people to see, that sort of thing. All in a day's work for a Strider."

"Cool." Dave stared blankly at the TV, trying to figure out what his next plan of action would be. He couldn't just ask for the Xbox; no, that would never do. Bro would ridicule him for it. And he was still so tired; he'd definitely lose if they fought over it. But Egderp was probably sitting in front of his TV right now wondering why the hell his best friend was taking so long to turn on the damn game. He had to think of something…

"Whoa, little dude, I can practically see the smoke coming out of your ears. The hell's making you think so hard at 8 am on a Saturday in the middle of June?"

"Nothing," Dave replied immediately, crossing his arms. "Just thinking of something to do."

Bro's lips twitched slightly, the faintest hint of a smirk tugging at the corners. "You want the Xbox, don't you?"

"Nah, you can have it," Dave lied. _Damn, how the hell does he do that? It's like he's psychic or something._

"No, little man, it's cool. You can take the Xbox. Here." He handed over the controller. Dave just stared at it uncomprehendingly. Bro chuckled. "What's wrong, Dave?"

"What's going to happen if I take the controller?" Dave asked cautiously, trying to think through every possible route Bro could take to make his life a living hell the moment he touched the plastic.

"Nothing," Bro said innocently. Dave almost laughed. Almost. _Bro, innocent? Not likely._ He leaned back against the couch. "Nah, just keep playing. What game is this anyway?"

"Dude, I don't even know. I just grabbed something and put it in," Bro admitted. "If you've got something to do, do it. Seriously."

"No, man, it's cool. You do your thing. I'll just go talk to Rose or something."

Dave stood up and started to head for the door, but his path was instantly blocked by his (much taller) brother. Dave just looked up at him calmly. "So now you're not going to let me leave?"

"I insist you play whatever shitty game you were going to play with that Egderp kid." Bro leaned against the doorframe easily. "I can and will make you play it."

"How did you know I was going to play with Egbert?"

"I have my methods," Bro responded cryptically.

"Oh my God. You have _not_ been reading my Pesterchum conversations."

"Maybe."

"Bro, that's just wrong on many levels."

"So is the serious brocrush you have on the kid. Not to mention your infatuation with Lalonde."

"Bro. This is so not cool."

"You're the one not being cool here."

"Bro."

"Dave."

"…Dirk."

Bro hesitated. Dave allowed a smug grin to cross his lips. "You're not the only one who can hack Pesterchum."

"How much did you read?"

"Just one conversation. You and some girl named Roxy. That Rose's mom? Rose will love to hear about the things you two say to each other."

"Dave, I swear to God…"

"What? You afraid of me now? Little old me? Gee, Bro, I'm flattered."

"If you say one word to Rose…"

"I won't if you don't. Got it?"

Bro suppressed a frustrated growl. Damn, the kid was growing up fast. He already knew how to manipulate others to get what he wanted. Too bad he had to practice on the wrong person.

Bro grabbed Dave's collar, pulling the younger Strider in closer to him. Their lips met, just for a brief moment, before Dave pulled away. "Bro, what the hell?"

"It's a deal," Bro said, then walked out of the room as if nothing had happened. Dave was left confused and alone in the living room. Then he shrugged. It was just another one of Bro's mind games. Nothing more than that. He sat down on the couch and opened up Xbox Live, starting up his game with Egbert. He put on the headset, and muttered a quick apology into the microphone, hoping that it would be enough to pacify the kid. It was, and soon they were off playing the game. Dave could almost forget about what had happened.

Almost.

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**A/N:** This is my first official Homestuck fanfic! WOOT! Finally got one up here. XD Anyway. Read and review please. And be nice, this was written in like ten minutes when I haven't slept for like 18 hours. So shoosh. Expect better ones in the future WHEN I ACTUALLY FIND MY DAMN JOURNAL—

Okay. So. Yeah. XD;


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